6 March 2008 § 2 Comments

My heart feels. It’s just feely right now; i don’t know how to describe it. It’s kind of heavy, and a funny-hurt (like a bruise, you know? or ants in your feet) is sitting there. It kind of swirls up with these things:

1. “Mom and Dad” by Jason Upton. It’s a song about growing up. Here are the lyrics:

Mom and dad take a look at me
On my bike riding both hands free
And I’m all right
It’s a good night
I’m bigger now that I’ve ever been
Training wheels, got no need for them
Mom, I’m growing
Dad, I got to get going

We are not the same
Every day, we are changing
Another season fades
But that’s o.k.
We are changing anyway

Mom and dad look who’s holding me
Someone I get to love and
Dream with on cold nights
And through the hard times
We’re sailing out to the great unknown
Our hearts are set on that perfect home
Mom, we won’t fight
Dad, the wind’s right

Mom and dad the kids sure grow up fast
The more they grow up the more I ask
What am I doing?
I hope it doesn’t ruin them
Your ways are worth more than costly gems
I’m digging up my past to remember them
Mom, I love you
Dad, there’s nobody like you

Oh man. There’s so much about family, and love, and perpetual child-likeness here.. what beauty there is in child-likeness! That swirls my heart so much!

2. The other day i read this about my incredible Savior (Mattew 8:1-2):

When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

Do you see it? Do you see the rush of “of COURSE,” the compassion, the love? How tender and beautiful! I had to read it over and over, and remember not to cry.

3. Today in the store i was checking out (in the clerk sense of the word) a man.. and his name was so Korean that i had to ask him. It turned out that he was the pastor of the Korean church in our community! I wanted to talk with him more, and ask him lots of questions, but i also wanted to respect cultural boundaries, and situational boundaries, i suppose. The store was pretty busy. But that encounter made my day. There were also these beautiful women, one from India and one from Columbia, who were preparing for a ski trip with their families, and it was such a joy to help them.

4. I’m meeting with a mom for Bible study whose heart is so beautiful..

I don’t know why i’m crying right now. It’s all these things, i suppose, and the snow outside, and being warm inside, and having my parents here, and knowing that i’m loved (Mom just came in and brought me tissues and held me, because she heard me crying). Yes. I think that’s it. Love. I think my heart is growing.



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